triumph reborn archives

Triumph Reborn was a blog I started after this blog, I eventually changed the name and turned it into a picture blog called rebirthed sky because I wasn't getting the amount of views of the site that I expected.  All the posts are archives from that blog.  the disclaimer at the end was on all these posts plus another one that I'm not reposting and will be on all future posts on this blog.  In addition, I reactivated the fan page for this blog: https://www.facebook.com/leavingthedarkfortruth

True Love (posted on 5/30/15)

I wonder when will I know true love?  I'm not talking about the love that causes you to marry someone.  I'm talking about the love that only God can give.  I've never received God's love fully.  I only seem to get glimpses of it, its so mysterious to me, it scares me, and I don't understand it.  I hope one day to reach that place in my life when I can accept God's love freely.

s.e.x. (posted on 6/1/15)

I ran away from God for years and all it produced was emptiness. 

I remember being in tech school and thinking if I only have sex, I'll be fulfilled.  I wasn't Romeo so I never got laid but I did have my heart broken.  There nothing worse than having to hear a girl you were into and hung out with (for months) having sex with somebody twice her age and thinking to yourself in one hand shit that could have been me and on the other hand thank God, that I was protected from everything that comes with premarital sex.  I didn't have the nerve to leave the hall, so it was torture but I eventually moved on and didn't waste my time trying to hook up with any women after that stinging incident.

Repaired not healed (posted on 7/27/15)

When I was a child.  I knew I was different and I knew I wanted to be healed of my cleft palate and lip.  I'm still waiting for God to heal me.

When people tell me that babies and others are healed of cleft palate and lips and then act because I had corrective surgery to repair it.  That God wouldn't want to completely restore my nose (insult).  These people think that western medicine is my only answer.  When the truth is, it was the beginning of my healing not the completion of it.  I want God to finish what the surgeon started.  When people think that adults like me who had corrective surgery for cleft palate/lip and other conditions and act like the surgery is the end of it, it ignores Gods power, it also ignores the simple fact that I do not have the same breathing capacity as my friends because a surgeon can only cut out so much cartilage from your nose.  Think I'm lying talk to Michael Jackson. 

When you pray over my nose.  You're showing me love.  In addition, if you do this you will not just hit the physical, your going to hit emotional wounds.  When you do that your directly assaulting the enemy's work in my life and if that doesn't excite you.  Their is something wrong with you.

You think I have a powerful testimony now, how more powerful would it be if I was completely healed of this...

enjoyments (11/24/15)

cynicism... its how you blind yourself to the truth
anger... its a way to hang yourself.
judgment... its how friends kick you, when they don't understand you.

happy thanksgiving

this isn't aimed at anybody before I get shit from people on facebook.

I'm such a happy person!

A DISCLAIMER

I ask that if this post bothers you.  You pray before you talk to me about it because prayer matters.  A harsh word stirs up anger.  I dare you to pray over the pain that will be discussed in these posts but I ask that you don't turn me into a ministry project.  In addition, if I anger you because of something I write.  Do me a favor look in the mirror first because I'm probably provoking a wound in you, unintentionally.  If that isn't the case pray before we talk.

my requirements for a future girlfriend

They have to value purity and their relationship w/ God.

Believe and practice the gifts of the Holy Spirit

My girlfriend has to be supportive of my dream of being a professional comic and not try to kill my dream once I marry the girl.  This support could mean the following: moving to a bigger metro area and me being away for wks at a time.  My ultimate goal is take my wife & kids w/ me on the road because to many comics get divorced.  In addition, I will only move if God tells us both to move.

God comes first in our relationship

My girlfriend can't be desperate or flirty because both are signs of unhealed wounds.

My girlfriend has to be at least 25 (or close to it) because I'm in my mid-thirties.  My age shouldn't eliminate me for being a potential boyfriend because the fact is I don't look my age which should be a bonus.  In addition, the fruit in my life should be what causes the girl to say, hey matt pick me or thanks but I'll pass, not my age.

I like pretty girls and I like those pretty girls not to use food as a coping mechanism to deal w/ pain whether that's eating too much, too little or binging purging etc.

We have to be friends whether that's developing a friendship threw the dating process or deepening a friendship by dating.

I'm looking for a wife not a superficial relationship

A short list of my requirements as the boyfriend and this isn't exhaustive, so if I forgot something don't get all offended

That I treat my girlfriend w/ honor, respect, and dignity because I witnessed growing up an angry father who used his words to destroy his family, as God is my witness I will Never, Never use my wounds as an excuse to lash out at my kids and wife like my father did.  I've forgiven my father for his deeds and he's mellowed out with age, but that doesn't excuse his actions.  I will not retrace those steps and get sucked into the web of verbal abuse.  I'm no sucker.  This will no longer be apart of my family line.  My kids will learn the proper way to treat a woman.

That I honor her purity by waiting till the wedding night to have sex with her whether she's a virgin or not both deserve to be cherished and honored.  Plus that night should be special for her.

That I honor and value her dreams.

The Holy Spirit is the third person in our relationship

That I encourage her as a girlfriend, wife, and mother.

That I listen to her even when I can't stand all the talking because her opinions are worth it

that I have a job so I can support her and my family, I'm currently pursuing employment 4 interviews so far, the most recent one today.

finally I'm not posting this to get a girlfriend, I'm posting this so people know the truth.

who is jesus

Who is Jesus

I could give you some long-winded answer about who Jesus is but since I am not a pastor or a theologian.  I will let them amaze you with their verbiage and knowledge.  Jesus is known by many names including the Prince of Peace and Messiah, but my favorite is a friend.

If you want to know more about Jesus read the gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  In addition, do me a favor do not let somebody tell you who Jesus is because they could be wrong.  I have some simple advice: read the gospels and study his actions and how he treats people.  There you will find Jesus and when you find anybody who acts like He acts and does what He does.  Listen to them because their word is trustworthy and they know the truth.  If the opposite is true run from them because they do not know the truth but do not let that discourage you in your quest to find Jesus.  For instance, a truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies (Proverbs 12:17).  In other words, listen to the person who acts like Jesus and ignore the person who doesn’t know him.

august 21st, 2012

august 21st
I have to say that the short sermon was probably the most convicted i have gotten during a service and it has nothing to do with the speaker, it had to do with what he said about Isaiah 53.  It convicted me a lot... now onto what happened after the service

I went up front with a bunch of other people, because my tailbone had been acting up again -- I had injured it in a fall a couple of months before and the pain had gone away.  Now the pain was back but it was a different kind of pain.  When I got up front the pain intensified.  Plus, my lower back was stiff.  The speaker asks the Holy Spirit to fall on us and i fell over quick.  When this happens i'm always tempted to say "timber!" Since i really can't resist the Holy Spirit even when I want to resist Him.  Yep, I go to a church where we believe that the Holy Spirit can work in your life and do amazing things.  If that bothers you -- get over your stupid theology and grow up!  When I was on the floor I decided to roll over since the pain wasn't in my stomach.  Then, I literally got stuck to the floor, this wasn't a new experience, it was just the first time where i wasn't bothered by it.  So a friend starts praying for my tailbone and the pain doesn't go away.  In fact, the tail bone starts to throb and the stiffness in my back isn't changing.  Then, the pain expanded to my left knee and it started to throb.  I realized later that this knee was injured when i was a kid.  I injured it, riding my bike on train tracks near my house; i had the misfortune of falling and getting gravel under my skin, i have a nice scar on my kneecap that looks like a reversed C.  I also think this is the knee that locks up a couple of times a year.    Personally i never bothered to tell people about the knee locking up because it doesn't happen that often and honestly i never thought it was really relevant.  I guess I was wrong about that one.  the dude praying for me told the pain to stop moving (by commanding it to stop in the name of Jesus) which means that it wouldn't move farther down my leg and it did stop. Then, eventually the Spirit's presence was less and the pain just stayed at my tail bone.  My back was stiff the whole time.

I think the tailbone pain is just soreness from my bed which is a piece of crap and i think the stiffness is caused by the same thing.  I could be wrong.  The knee locking up i have no clue.

Then, later the friend brought another friend over and they prayed for some other things which included some "spirits" which included lies, and confusion.  Plus this one friend had a word about me associating myself with pain and how that is a lie.

The whole time I was stuck to the floor in my head i'm was singing the song "I surrender."  I think this is significant just look up the lyrics.  I was stuck on the floor for at least an hour.  A couple of times I heard "no, no" being yelled at me in my head, you can make your own judgments on that one.  When that happened I just tried harder to sing the lyrics in my head.  Since this happened i have noticed that i haven't been able to shove my hurts down deep inside as successfully, in fact during worship now i have almost cried a couple of times since this happened... i hope this is an encouraging sign to people.  plus, one result of this was my previous post about my emotions because i felt like i had to since i was asked after prayer was over about hiding my pain.  (Since i wrote that post I have edited it, twice.)  I basically lied about it and acted like it was a curious coincidence.  when in fact I knew and have known forever why I could before that night hid my pain.  The thing is I didn't realize this until the next day when i couldn't put upset feelings down. I guess i wasn't ready to cross that bridge, i think i was probably overwhelmed, i'm not saying its okay that i acted ignorant and lied but i seem to have a habit of not telling the whole story to people who pray for me.

ps. when my knee locks up its always at night and its fairly painful. in addition, I know the thing that was yelling "no, no" at me, I just don't want to freak some people out by naming what it is...
I still think I have swelling from the original tail bone injury...

when bitterness dies

Bitterness is a cancer in my family which is being uprooted in me, since i'm sick of being a casualty and a victim. My grandmother was bitter her whole life because of a car accident. My father is bitter for a reason unknown to me. I know bitterness is wrong, i have known this for years but i have started to put action behind my saying: "I will not be like them," because I see what it does, and I've started to forgive. Since the tongue that brings healing is a tree of life but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (pr 15:4). Bitterness produces liars, manipulators, touchy people, conceit and a whole host of other problems. That I do not want because I've seen what those chains do, and how blind you become to it. You see Jesus didn't spit on his murders, he forgave them. So I shall do the same... since actions speak louder than words.

-----------------------------

this post is more true now than when I wrote it over a year ago, thank God.

an embarassment

riley cooper had to open his ignorant mouth. I think the eagles should trade him to the cfl.   

new blogs

http://deathofpain.blogspot.com new personal blog
http://reviewingoblivion.blogspot.com reviews
http://consuminghope.wordpress.com lyrics

i will be post looney tunes post here from now on...