i haven't seriously written comedy in over a year. you may wonder why, well, this may shock some but i really struggle with whether or not the stuff i write is funny. yep, i have weak confidence when in truth my confidence should be sky high but sadly that isn't the case at this juncture of my life. I trust God will give me confidence that i don't have now. then, there is the whole mental block thing were i get to a certain point and don't know where to go with things. an example, of this is a thing i have dubbed "my conspiracy." I have a couple ideas for this, jfk (two paragraphs, beg & ending), humpty dumpty (no paragraphs), a happy home (i got that idea in a worship service, no paragraphs), and infusing verses from proverbs (a recent idea) into the storyline. the bible verse thing it has to be funny or have a point in the story i'm just not going to quote bible verses just because i can, since its comedy not a sermon. frankly, if you want to be preached at go to church. There could be other obvious things like aliens or bigfoot but my goal is to do things with this that are not common (see happy home) and that are very original. I am not really frustrated in a sense because its not like i'm going to be doing an open mic somewhere soon. however, in another sense it is frustrating because i believe i am very funny and know that i can do this both writing and performing comedy since i have done it in the past (improv comedy at my old church) whether its my conspiracy or something else i am trying to write because i know i have a gift and i don't want to squander it. when i write comedy my goal is get my sarcasm, dry humor, and my ability to be a 'smartass' on paper. this sounds hard and it is, trust me. in addition, i rarely post comedy on this site because as far as i can tell there is no way for me to copyright it, since i don't want to turn on the tv someday and see something i have written being performed by somebody else.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
jeremiah 15:19-21 (ch 15)
jeremiah 15:19-21
19 Therefore this is what the Lord says:
19 Therefore this is what the Lord says:
“If you repent, I will restore you
that you may serve me;
if you utter worthy, not worthless, words,
you will be my spokesman.
Let this people turn to you,
but you must not turn to them.
20 I will make you a wall to this people,
a fortified wall of bronze;
they will fight against you
but will not overcome you,
for I am with you
to rescue and save you,”
declares the Lord.
21 “I will save you from the hands of the wicked
and redeem you from the grasp of the cruel.”
the nasb version
Therefore, thus says the Lord,
“If you return, then I will restore you—
Before Me you will stand;
And if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
20 “Then I will make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze;
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For I am with you to save you
And deliver you,” declares the Lord.
21 “So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent.”
that you may serve me;
if you utter worthy, not worthless, words,
you will be my spokesman.
Let this people turn to you,
but you must not turn to them.
20 I will make you a wall to this people,
a fortified wall of bronze;
they will fight against you
but will not overcome you,
for I am with you
to rescue and save you,”
declares the Lord.
21 “I will save you from the hands of the wicked
and redeem you from the grasp of the cruel.”
the nasb version
Therefore, thus says the Lord,
“If you return, then I will restore you—
Before Me you will stand;
And if you extract the precious from the worthless,
You will become My spokesman.
They for their part may turn to you,
But as for you, you must not turn to them.
20 “Then I will make you to this people
A fortified wall of bronze;
And though they fight against you,
They will not prevail over you;
For I am with you to save you
And deliver you,” declares the Lord.
21 “So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked,
And I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent.”
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
jeremiah 10:11-16 (ch 10)
jeremiah 10:11-16
11 “Tell them this: ‘These gods, who did not make the heavens and the earth, will perish from the earth and from under the heavens.’”
11 “Tell them this: ‘These gods, who did not make the heavens and the earth, will perish from the earth and from under the heavens.’”
12 But God made the earth by his power;
he founded the world by his wisdom
and stretched out the heavens by his understanding.
13 When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar;
he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth.
He sends lightning with the rain
and brings out the wind from his storehouses.
he founded the world by his wisdom
and stretched out the heavens by his understanding.
13 When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar;
he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth.
He sends lightning with the rain
and brings out the wind from his storehouses.
14 Everyone is senseless and without knowledge;
every goldsmith is shamed by his idols.
His images are a fraud;
they have no breath in them.
15 They are worthless, the objects of mockery;
when their judgment comes, they will perish.
16 He who is the Portion of Jacob is not like these,
for he is the Maker of all things,
including Israel, the tribe of his inheritance—
the Lord Almighty is his name.
every goldsmith is shamed by his idols.
His images are a fraud;
they have no breath in them.
15 They are worthless, the objects of mockery;
when their judgment comes, they will perish.
16 He who is the Portion of Jacob is not like these,
for he is the Maker of all things,
including Israel, the tribe of his inheritance—
the Lord Almighty is his name.
Monday, October 22, 2012
1:15 am
i'm bored, so what else is new. i could go outside but it is cold outside. i could call one of my old friends before i went to johnstown (07-08). that's a joke. i'm sure that would be awkward. i haven't seen them in over 4 years. i've always wondered if i did something and that's why after i came back from school they didn't want to have anything to do with me. i hope i'm not bitter about that that but it was upsetting, since i never understood it. when people blow you off whether its excuses given to you in fb messages or them never bothering to call you back its upsetting. i have tried off and on for over 4 years to get together with these people and i have had no success which has made me question everything from the past.
facebook fan page
facebook fan page
Friday, October 19, 2012
sentenced
you can read my two other posts: ripped from the headlines and he plead guilty about this subject.
my former home room teacher mr. geyer got 3-9 years for molesting those korean kids which i think is a joke. The sentence is too light and basically a slap on the wrist. I think its a shame.
facebook fan page
my former home room teacher mr. geyer got 3-9 years for molesting those korean kids which i think is a joke. The sentence is too light and basically a slap on the wrist. I think its a shame.
facebook fan page
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
i'm broke fyi
September 27
Devotional Title
Christlike Conduct: The Goal of Christian Faith
"You see that his faith and actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did." - james 2:22
This verse is talking about Abraham's faith when he offered, Isaac (his son) up for sacrifice.
"Rightly understood, faith is not a substitute for moral conduct but a means to it." In James 2:17 it says, in the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead. This concept is in scripture, an example is James 2:14-26.
"It is much easier to pray that a poor friend's needs maybe supplied than to supply them!" I know this from personal experience. Plenty of people have prayed that I get a job which I appreciate. However, I have never had somebody walk up to me and give me money because it was on their heart. I think that this would blew me away. This has never happened and i'm not trying to put a guilt trip on anybody but to me it would be so encouraging and nice. Plus, think of the testimony it would give to my parents and grandfather. I have been unemployed for over 4 years and basically everytime i ask my grandfather for gas money - god help me if i ask for money to go to do something fun - i get a whiny attitude which gets old real quick. Plus, he acts like he's so poor when he is in fact rich. He also seems to enjoy rubbing this into my face which i really don't like since i thought i was going to get hired right after i graduated in 2008. I'm sure he knows that it's offensive but I hold my tongue because I want to have a good christian testimony to him. Finally, if you read what I just wrote and hand me money on Sunday or some other day and its out of guilt I do not want your money because i do not want a guilt offering. Frankly, if you have that attitude you are no better than my grandfather. I should say that i try not to ask my parents for money because were basically poor middle class people, you wouldn't probably be able to tell it if you came into our house but its the truth.
Devotional Title
Christlike Conduct: The Goal of Christian Faith
"You see that his faith and actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did." - james 2:22
This verse is talking about Abraham's faith when he offered, Isaac (his son) up for sacrifice.
"It is much easier to pray that a poor friend's needs maybe supplied than to supply them!" I know this from personal experience. Plenty of people have prayed that I get a job which I appreciate. However, I have never had somebody walk up to me and give me money because it was on their heart. I think that this would blew me away. This has never happened and i'm not trying to put a guilt trip on anybody but to me it would be so encouraging and nice. Plus, think of the testimony it would give to my parents and grandfather. I have been unemployed for over 4 years and basically everytime i ask my grandfather for gas money - god help me if i ask for money to go to do something fun - i get a whiny attitude which gets old real quick. Plus, he acts like he's so poor when he is in fact rich. He also seems to enjoy rubbing this into my face which i really don't like since i thought i was going to get hired right after i graduated in 2008. I'm sure he knows that it's offensive but I hold my tongue because I want to have a good christian testimony to him. Finally, if you read what I just wrote and hand me money on Sunday or some other day and its out of guilt I do not want your money because i do not want a guilt offering. Frankly, if you have that attitude you are no better than my grandfather. I should say that i try not to ask my parents for money because were basically poor middle class people, you wouldn't probably be able to tell it if you came into our house but its the truth.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
broken tree
maybe the limbs of a broken tree will heal themselves in time
or maybe the limbs from that broken tree will petrify......
hard as stone.
as I peel back the layers I find things I never knew were there
and as I listen to my prayers I hear myself confused and scared.
this broken tree feels like it's part of me somehow controlling
my destiny.
has the seed of a broken promise decided what I will be?
and I, left to myself can only hope to survive.
and I, left to myself can only slowly die.
how long will I drift? would I not know the difference?
have I weathered so long that I've been shaped by this ocean?
will the legacy live on in me? like father, like son?
I don't believe that what I am is determined by what
precedes me.
and now I have to realize that the past is not my future
and in Christ I'm a brand new creature.
and I, left to myself can only hope to survive.
and I, left to myself can only slowly die.
but given grace I know I can,
given grace I can learn to forgive.
in the face of all of this.
given grace I can truly live.
by six feet deep
from the album, "the road less traveled"
or maybe the limbs from that broken tree will petrify......
hard as stone.
as I peel back the layers I find things I never knew were there
and as I listen to my prayers I hear myself confused and scared.
this broken tree feels like it's part of me somehow controlling
my destiny.
has the seed of a broken promise decided what I will be?
and I, left to myself can only hope to survive.
and I, left to myself can only slowly die.
how long will I drift? would I not know the difference?
have I weathered so long that I've been shaped by this ocean?
will the legacy live on in me? like father, like son?
I don't believe that what I am is determined by what
precedes me.
and now I have to realize that the past is not my future
and in Christ I'm a brand new creature.
and I, left to myself can only hope to survive.
and I, left to myself can only slowly die.
but given grace I know I can,
given grace I can learn to forgive.
in the face of all of this.
given grace I can truly live.
by six feet deep
from the album, "the road less traveled"
Thursday, October 4, 2012
with one accord in one place
“The truth of the Holy Spirit is not central in Christian doctrine.” So I guess the Holy Spirit is just Harvey Harvey
The Norway
the end.
ps the first paragraph is referencing the movie harvey which is about an invisible bunny, james stewart's character has a one way conversation through the whole movie with this bunny.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
election year
election year
It's election year
And the circus is in town
It's time to pick a winner from
The line of clowns
They tell stories
They do tricks
You thought it was joke
But it's politics
Republican or Democrat
You're the same to me
Back stabbing, blame shifting
Political parties
Did you buy your stance
At a speech writer's store?
'Cause it's a fresh suit and smile
But i've heard it all before
Who will be our leader
In the four years to come?
And who will follow after when
His damage is done?
Who will do their duty?
Who will do their job?
Who will let us know
When we've all been robbed?
Corruption is the way
They get things done
Don't you know it's how
The West was won
If there is a good man
Who won't be bought
I bet my bottom dollar
That he'll end up shot
They passify the masses
With believable lies
When's the middle class
Gonna realize
That we pay our taxes
So candidates can dine
They do lunch
While we stand in line
So make your promises
And say your speeches
Time will tell
And history teaches
The moment's coming up
The time is drawing near
I guess we'll know the truth
After election year
by crash dog
It's election year
And the circus is in town
It's time to pick a winner from
The line of clowns
They tell stories
They do tricks
You thought it was joke
But it's politics
Republican or Democrat
You're the same to me
Back stabbing, blame shifting
Political parties
Did you buy your stance
At a speech writer's store?
'Cause it's a fresh suit and smile
But i've heard it all before
Who will be our leader
In the four years to come?
And who will follow after when
His damage is done?
Who will do their duty?
Who will do their job?
Who will let us know
When we've all been robbed?
Corruption is the way
They get things done
Don't you know it's how
The West was won
If there is a good man
Who won't be bought
I bet my bottom dollar
That he'll end up shot
They passify the masses
With believable lies
When's the middle class
Gonna realize
That we pay our taxes
So candidates can dine
They do lunch
While we stand in line
So make your promises
And say your speeches
Time will tell
And history teaches
The moment's coming up
The time is drawing near
I guess we'll know the truth
After election year
by crash dog
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
fiction ratings 4
pirate latitudes by michael crichton 5/10
the shack by william young 8/10
world war z by max brooks 5/10
18/30
60%
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